I was rocking right along with keeping up with my life events, as small as they are, but all of a sudden I just lost my desire to keep tabs on myself.
Not that I'm turning over a new leaf, but here's a start.
It's been a rough patch for a few weeks with so much busyness and so little time and some misunderstandings that turned out to be nothing. I tend to overthink and worry too much, and somehow I'm going to have to work on that. I finally gave in to a home health visit from my United insurance company just to keep them from calling me every day, and it turned out to be quite nice.
I see my primary doctor and cardiologist enough that I don't think I need anyone new coming in and checking on me, but I did enjoy Meri, a sweet nurse from Duvall, who kind of wove all my various messes together into a plan of sorts. She asked all the right questions and was very interested in my answers and just more than my physical health. I tend to worry about things I can't do anything about, avoid things that don't fall into perfect alignment with my expectations and waste a lot of time thinking about all the what-ifs. Getting old is quite an adventure. Sometimes I think I do okay, and other times I just want to give up and be invisible.
I keep thinking about one thing she said when we were talking about handling my anxiety. I said I've probably needed anti-depressants before but am afraid of side-effects and the unknowns, but she said, "Sometimes NOT taking a medication that can help you is a side-effect in itself." I had to think about that a minute, but if there is a medication that might keep me from driving my friends and family crazy, maybe I should try it - for their sake anyway! That's on my question list for my September visit. Sometimes when I hear a siren in our tiny town or on the interstate, I will get a call from Emily saying - We're all okay. What about you? Maybe it's inherited.
So the other positives lately!
It wasn't easy coordinating it, but I grabbed my girls yesterday and went to the grocery store and then to the pool. Because of my procrastination, I hadn't left home by 10 a.m., and therefore they were my willing companions. They're the sweetest and most helpful girls, but with a crowded store and no prior planning, we were backtracking all over Safeway and spending way too much money. Of all days for some of the self-help registers to have glitches, it was when we were there. Kate wanted to hand me the items for scanning, and Graysen wanted to put them in the bags and arrange them. That took more coordination than I expected, especially when Kate will use any excuse to use the scanning wand or whatever that thing is called. Half the time, I was reaching behind me to grab the item. Then they love to do produce. One types in the name, and one puts in the weight and bags it - taking twice as long as if I had done it myself. I could see a line forming behind us but refused to make eye contact with anyone! It was great though, even when I heard the announcement, "Oops, we're up to $100." That was NOT helpful.
We got the melting ice cream into the freezer and everything else put away with Elise's help, had a snack and headed for the pool. I was a little draggy by then with no lunch, but once I got there and got settled in a comfortable chair in the shade, it was lovely. Nice breeze and only one more family there at first, so the girls had a good time by themselves, once they got used to the water being a little too cool.
A bonus was having Mary and her granddaughter Vivi show up. It's been so long since we've talked, and it was great seeing her. My girls were ready to go, so we didn't overlap too much, but it was about the right amount.
Unfortunately, a rainy stretch is starting today along with cooler temps, so we'll be working on doing something different if they come over today.
Elise and I are serious about our garage cleanout. We've tried this before, but this time we were truly serious. Ryan came over and took away 4 or 5 items to take to the dump. It already looks better. I'm no longer going to hold onto a bin or a lid if there is not a well-fitting mate. If it hasn't happened in all this time, it's not going to. We're listing 99% of our stuff on the Buy Nothing page, so it should be a busy time. I love this page. I have no qualms about listing a collection of K-cups collected because of having caramel in the name and not being consumed here. Someone reading might just love caramel-flavored coffee and take them off our hands. Besides, I have a good coffee pot with a K-cup side and a regular carafe side that someone might enjoy. It's too much for us.
Elise is going to finally pack of all her grandmothers' old china and silver and other inherited things and get them stored. I need my dining room for other things - mainly Mah Jongg and sewing - if I may be allowed to entertain those hopes! If we can find a 3-bedroom apartment next spring, we will be happy. Otherwise, we'll continue to crowd into this one.
Elise can't go to the grocery store without coming home with some kind of plant, and this time it was a beautiful begonia. I haven't even been to a nursery this spring but just continuing to keep what I have alive. It's been a little chilly for sitting outside yet, but I'm about to change that.
Unfortunately, Noreen, my favorite porch-sitting friend, had knee replacement surgery yesterday morning, and it will be a little while before that happens. She's getting it over with early in the year so she can enjoy the rest of the summer without pain. According to her daughter, the surgery was a success, and she is now in that unenviable position of healing. Luckily, she has sweet family members, a friend from her former hometown here for a few days, and a pre-med student home from school for the summer as caretakers.
Speaking of knee replacements and healing, Emily is trying not to get her hopes up too high - but READY for the grand opening of the clinic July 6th. For a while, she thought it was going to be delayed because of contractor and remodeling problems, but she sounded much better about it yesterday. I'll try to get down and take some pictures of the blue and beige interior instead of that mud-brown one that was there before.
I'm behind on a lot of pictures. It's now the middle of the night, but as soon as I get up for good, I'm going to take a tour around the house and record the tornado that's hit our space as well as whatever else I can record in my limited existence.
No Mah Jongg this week. We just don't expect to get many games in this summer with trips and children and activities, but we'll start back in the fall. I see that someone is giving lessons at the senior center, so maybe we'll have a few more people we can enjoy playing with. Kate and I are getting out our pink set and playing some, while shaming Elise and Graysen for not being good sports and playing with us.
What else? Oh, we have a little watermelon and corn-on-the cob to look forward to. The Fourth of July parade as such has been cancelled, but the whole town can still dress in their patriotic colors and walk from the school to the Y where the festivities are. Noreen and I won't be sitting on the porch waving our flags this year. We always say we wish we would walk over and watch the fireworks, but for some reason, they don't get started until we're ready for bed. Good thing we have a lot of good memories of our fun Fourths through our lifetimes.
I lost my first and best childhood friend Tonnie this week in South Carolina. She's always lived in Florida, but since the onset of Alzheimer's, she's lived with a daughter in SC. That hurts. Many sweet memories of the fun we had and the adventures. I'm so glad we got together a few years ago when we went to St. George's. We met one afternoon and tried to cover our whole lives in one sitting. So much fun. Such a special friend. This is also something I'll try to come back and post pictures and memories of.
The WinBins lost their outside cat Luna this year. She has been around awhile and lived in both places at various times, but the past few years, she owned their fenced yard with her little heated house, sunshine to stretch out in, birds and racoons to chase, and we like to think she had a good life. She was never very sociable to humans but seemed to enjoy having someone sit beside her and talk and bring her food, of course. It's always sad to lose a pet friend, and she'll be in our hearts.
It's been a season of sadness, including the death of one of our old neighbors from Thomaston, a young man with such a future and loved by so many.
I need to go back to bed and get rested for the day. Hoping we'll get some things accomplished and make room in this crowded apartment. I'm thankful for the easy life I have now, even though I complain a lot! Right now, my focus is on my right heel and getting rid of that plantar fasciitis. Emily showed me two exercises this weekend and gave me some tips. I think I need to invest in some better shoes soon. I hardly wear shoes at all, but I'll try to do better. It really hurts!
Getting a haircut this weekend should put me in a nice frame of mind to kick off the summer. And planning for Stephanie and Gray to visit in September. I can't believe June is almost over, and I spent so much of that time worrying and fretting over small things.
Let the summer begin!
